Understanding your emotions can be a difficult thing to do. If you suffer from depressio, or mental health disorders, this can be extremely aggravating and in some cases even more depressing. Speaking as someone who suffers from mental health, and manic depression, I find it only fitting to talk about this in hopes of maybe helping those who need it.
I was never the person who wanted to be told what to do or how to deal with my own personal demons. I thought I had it all figured out and told myself and others that I was perfectly fine. Truthfully I was riding a roller coaster emotionally every day of the week. It wasn’t until I attempted suicide that I realized that something with me wasn’t right. I shouldn’t be feeling this way. I asked myself over and over “what is wrong with me?” I had friends who tried to help but I felt as if they were passing judgement.
Who wants to admit that they have a problem? Who wants to ask for help? It is one of the hardest things to do, and can bring you down emotionally even further. Unfortunately, it is something that needs to be done. You need to realize that sometimes carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders isn’t always necessary. Taking a step back and really looking at the big picture must be done. It took me four times of ending up in the psych ward before I fully gave in and said “no more!”
I started to see a therapist, and had some medicine prescribed to even out my moods and behavior. I tried to self-prescribe multiple times because I was feeling great, and so I thought I didn’t need them anymore, but guess what? I was riding the roller coaster again. My moods cycled. My demeanor changed. I became angry, sad, ecstatic, hyper, fatigued, etc. all in the span of a day. The last time this happened I gave my best friend all of my medication. She would distribute them out to me because I wasn’t confident in myself to handle my medications because of the highs and lows.
Asking for help was the best choice I had ever made. Letting someone in and trusting them was a huge blessing for me. Seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist made me feel like a human being again. It took some discipline and some tough love but I am grateful for the help. Managing your emotions can be difficult. Asking for help can be scary, but trust me, it is so worth it. You should never feel so low that taking your life is an option. If you feel that you can’t handle it, or you need help, ask immediately. Call 911, or go to an emergency room. Ask a family member to stay with you, or even a close friend. Do not and I say this with love, do not feel like a burden. YOU ARE SOMEBODY’S SOMEONE! You are loved and you are important. Ask for help.
God Bless You All!