Thought of the Night

As human beings it is normal for us to form attachments. These attachments sometimes start to take control of our judgement, making it hard for us to see when someone has crossed the line. We tend to hold people to expectations that can sometimes be unrealistic, yet to us are perhaps very reasonable. When feelings become involved we want so badly for these individuals to live up to what we have made them to be in our minds, and when they don’t we give chances after chances. Sometimes we give so many of these chances that we start to feel like maybe it’s us that are the problem. We ask ourselves what we have done wrong, and blame ourselves for it not working out. We put our heart on the line so often for these people that it becomes normal when they let us down.

So often we forget to place ourselves first. We forget that at one time our normal was being happy with ourselves. We forget who we are because we have changed ourselves by always trying to please other people. We want these people to live up to what we expect them to be but we rarely live up to who we should be for ourselves. We want to make it work. We want to be happy. Eventually those wants start sounding like desperation. Desperation makes us look and feel weak. Once we feel weak we start acting weak. We let go of what makes us strong because we are so focused on those other people.

Attachments become toxic, and when they do, we become toxic to ourselves. Sure we will claim that everything is fine and we have it under control but truthfully, we constantly have it in our heads and on our minds. It starts to control our thinking. We either become cold, depressed, or anxious. We drive ourselves crazy wondering. It’s a concept hard to wrap our heads around. People say “find someone better.” Newsflash, we thought this one was better. We thought the one before was better. Eventually, all the signs start to make sense. Eventually, eventually will come.

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